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Remember that dream I mentioned chasing in my early 20s?Well, that’s not really the dream for our generation anymore.Having spent a good year getting reacquainted with myself and my charming set of idiosyncrasies, I recognized the occasion calling for me to stop avoiding male attention and to start practicing the art of social bullshitting again. If it comes let it come, if it stays let it stay, if it goes, well, let it go. If he responds intermittently to you, then yeah, you’re not the only girl in his contact list. Taken from the mouths of our wise elders, “Don’t make someone a priority who treats you like an option.” Seriously. Be grateful for the opportunities provided, in whatever form they come.We value our freedom; our attention spans have shortened, and we are accustomed to instant gratification. What this means for dating is you need to learn to go with the flow. Your dating pool may seem limited because you don’t quite fit in with the late-30s or early-40s crowd who have lives that resemble your parents’. Go out with a date younger than yourself when you need an exciting night out on the town.Yet, you find it difficult to hold an intellectual, stimulating conversation with younger prospects who are still determining what their booze threshold is. And, when a quiet night with good conversation is needed, seek out a date who has a few years on you. I have created a life so full of fun and friends and work and kids and personal fulfillment that finding time for the average guy was uh, well, not so reasonable—thus the ensuing “search” for Joe Squared commenced. Photo overshares to new acquaintances, by the way, come off as a marketing ploy. I did, however, learn a lot about myself and my priorities, about the dating process, about other people and that I have an entire closet full of clothes but nothing to wear. Relationships are about bringing out the best in each other, not the worst, and not the person someone else wants you to be. Ask don’t tell, listen more than you talk, and stop sharing your entire life story in the first hour. People earn the privilege of hearing your personal information and story by earning your trust; save it for the right people. Your actions speak louder than your words, and uh, your selfies.

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In fact, he or she probably got a message from another interested party while on your date. Dress nicely, and don't be a douche because he or she has plenty of options. Don’t take anything personally, nothing others do is because of you. However, misrepresentations happen, and often, especially via electronic communication. First impressions are important, whether they are virtual or in person. If you feel compelled to present yourself as something other than who you truly are, to have interests that you don’t really have, to know things you don’t really know then you are in trouble, my dear. Be willing to grow and learn and try new things—but label them clearly as such. Don’t spend your time trying to make something work that you know isn’t going to; things that are meant to be aren’t usually that complicated (well, unless you make them that way, in which case, please re-read #2). You are who you are and that’s the end of the story sister. A degree does not equate intelligence, nor does the lack of one indicate the opposite. Know the difference between simply being uneasy because you are getting out of your comfort zone and what is legitimately no bueno para ti.




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