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The perpertually distant partner needs to know that long term distance, within the context of marriage - is a real killer - if not mutually agreed upon.They are at high risk of making themselves irrelevant to the union (as evidence by the above posters comment ("but now I feel like I don't need him"). Even at the beginning of the marriage there were signs what he is distant and wants his feelings private.These men need to learn from an early age its ok to share feelings with there partners and seek help together. He will moving on to college this Fall so I need to make decisions on whether to stay or leave. Once he pursues you a little bit, you are so happy you want to show it, which makes him distance again.Its life destroying for all involved, This advice won't work if the partner is a true asshole.. Also, the distancer's pursue is never enough for the other person.

In any couple there is normally one who is a bit more distant than the other.My heart breaks for you and for me and our husbands.My husband was in an awful traffic collision while at work ( he's a police officer) and his injuries have caused him to really be distant and depressed.The past few weeks he's said some awful things to me, which he never did before (called me names) and I am beside myself as to what to do.This is not have I envisioned my married life to be. I feel for you my live in partner of 5 years has distanced by leaving. He has always been kind loving and only ever wanted to be around me. Trying to make sense of his head with no emotions or feelings for anything. I am a believer on trying to sort out issues together.

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